by Dr. Lynne Wooldridge
One negative trait that blocks higher understanding is blabbermouthery. In the dictionary, a blabbermouth refers to someone who talks excessively or indiscreetly. However, in his book A Treasury of Trueness (#775 in the newest edition), in a section entitled Blabbermouthery, Vernon Howard alludes to the fact that everyone blabs when he gave the following higher instruction: “Stop blabbing and just notice what you are doing right now. Divided attention is no attention. Stop blabbing and just notice what you are doing right now.”
That doesn’t mean we’re precluded from exchanging greetings or having pleasant conversations with one another. There is also a practical reason for communicating and conversing with others, like when you ask a store clerk where you might find an item you need or when talking to the boss about what must be taken care of to get a particular job done.
But ordinary conversations easily veer into blabbing territory because a large part of us likes the “excitement” of chattering and talking about ourselves and our interests. There is no need to extend these exchanges into long-winded monologues and complaints, but people are compelled to do so. Just look around and you’ll see that this world is a place filled with talkers. Human beings talk nonstop about all manner of subjects. And a compulsion to do anything, including blabbing, means that we’re not in control of our thoughts and feelings. Something else is in control that doesn’t want us to break out of our hypnotic sleep state.
Unfortunately, the societal atmosphere has ensnared us in a trap, insisting it is essential to have an opinion on every subject that must be expressed outwardly. How many times have you heard the injunction, “Let your voice be heard?” And when opposing viewpoints collide, which they inevitably will, the results are heated disagreements and arguments that always create a disturbance in the atmosphere. That is why this is such a noisy, contentious culture.
Watch people carefully and you can sense that quite often they are just talking to fill up social space, to seem friendly and knowledgeable, to reminisce, to gain attention with tales of their worldly exploits, to “score” some advantage over someone else or to find a “sounding board” for all their grievances. You also might have a feeling a lot of the time that talkers are “flying blind”; that is, they have no idea what they’re talking about. And you could also become aware that you yourself have done the very same thing!
Sometimes people are very aggressive about capturing your attention and harvesting your energy with the unspoken demand that you must listen to what they have to say. Don’t let them. Somebody may become angry with you, or you may lose a friend, but your energy is yours to do with what your higher nature urges you to do, which is to get out of their sphere of influence as quickly as possible.
I was recently in a doctor’s waiting room with a lot of other people. When the assistant came out and called the name of the next person to be seen, she had to repeat the name three times before he finally heard her. It was a younger man who had been completely absorbed in an animated conversation with an older fellow in the waiting room. That’s a great example of the self-enclosure and inconvenience to others that unconsciousness blabbing creates.
Blabbing always includes an element of self-promotion or self-protection or both. Human beings use blabbing to project imaginary self-images, whether they be of a friendly, harmless nature or that of an aggressive knower. The pressure is always on to protect and promote these pictures we have of ourselves, because the imitation nature is nervous and insecure and trying to find affirmation all the time.
Relief will come only when we slow down and understand that the whole process is an extremely painful one that must be repeated over and over again. And despite our desperation to make it work, it must strike us like a storm that this behavior has never, ever led us to lasting security or authentic self-command.
A good example was given in a recent New Life class by a student who said she felt pressure to make conversation while working on a New Life mailing. In a situation like that, what is wrong with quietly observing your own discomfort and expanding your attention outward to see what’s going on with the other people at the table? This is what truth asks of us if we truly want to drop the binding chains of the false nature. If we choose to use it, we have been given the ability to voluntarily observe instead of succumbing to the internal pressure to start a conversation or to hastily blurt out some embarrassing remark. We can also make it a work project to deliberately stop ourselves from making that unnecessary defensive/ critical remark to the other person who just challenged us. The true nature is never obligated to fight back. And it’s amazing that when the challenger gets no response in kind, he or she will often move on to another target.
In summary:
What truly cares for us does not want us to waste our time and energy in trivial chatter that makes us oblivious to what’s going on both inwardly and outwardly. Awareness is everything and as spiritual students, the grand aim is to awake the essence within that can perfectly handle every situation.