End Suffering on Fearfulness

by Brad Langenberg

Consistently, the number one fear among people is public speaking. Why is that? What is this fear? Well, aren’t people really fearful and apprehensive they won’t get the approval of others; that someone will see through their pretense of being strong or wise?
The word personality comes from the Latin word persona, which means mask. Everyone is looking for the approval of the mask that they present to the world. But there is something behind the mask. It’s very much like the scene from the movie “The Wizard of Oz,” where behind the curtain of the projection of the all-powerful Oz, there stood a frail, scared man.
To end the suffering of desperately wanting to get people’s approval is to clearly see it operating inside and to become aware of how dark the state really is. Personally, before studying the teachings of truth in the books and audios of Vernon Howard, I thought, “No one tells me what to do.” Then after learning to slow down, to watch how I talk, how I walk, how I interact, I realized that everyone tells me what to do. You see, I was allowing the behavior of other people to tell me how to feel. I was a slave to everyone else’s behavior, feelings and attitudes toward what I call ‘me.’
Because of this fearfulness, there was also a lot of pain in social situations. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. I really understood why alcohol was served at parties; it allowed people to loosen up to talk. The constant need for confirmation and reinforcement drives so many humans to do such absurd things. The drive for approval in work, money, looks and more can even lead human beings to disfigure their bodies in order to be noticed, to get attention and to look younger. This need to be noticed is just another way of seeking approval.
But you see, deep down everyone is really yearning for freedom and peace of mind. So how do we get out of this suffering cycle? As was stated earlier, first see it; let down the mask. When I started to see through myself, I started to see through others. It gave me X-ray vision — first through Brad and then through others. I started to become aware that everyone secretly suffers and that we are all fear-based. What does that say about me, that I am seeking approval from a predominantly anxious, disturbed society?
These classes, books, and tapes are about connecting to God. The level of our anxiety and fear shows us our distance from God. What I have found out is not to run away or move to an island, but to turn around and walk into the situation that scares me. To face the fear head on. Only the false self needs approval. This work shows me how to be free of the past and to know that the false nature lives in time, lives from the past.
To connect with God we need to be where God is at this present moment. If you are scared of someone, which means you want their approval, don’t pull away. Challenge the fear and engage with them. Then, get outside yourself, and start to notice what is behind the mask.
This statement from Vernon struck me: “It is not what others think of you that hurts, it is your thinking about what others are thinking of you that hurts you.” So all along it was my faulty thinking, coming from the false self, that was the source of all this fearfulness. Vernon once said, You must “Love the Creator, not the creation.”