Zion in Winter

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     “What you want also wants you. If you seek the celestial, the celestial also seeks you. There are no unanswered requests in the universe. If we do not like what we are receiving, we can learn to ask for something different.”

January Monthly Lessons

From Vernon Howard Classes

     Here is a wonderful opportunity to take these powerful truths and put them to use in your daily life. The goal is self-enrichment and the result is new life-command. Remember, the knowledge in these lessons already exists in your higher nature. You need only ascend to the location within yourself. Other people have understood them and so can you.

The Damage Can Be Undone

     You’ve been attacked all your life. The first enemy is not seeing the enemy.
     Society does not want this good news. The damage can be undone. The damage can be undone.
     Ask myself, “Why hasn’t the healthy inner change come? The damage still hurts badly. How come I can still feel and suffer from wounds when I was little?”
     How come you have failed to undo the damage? From now on, at the same time your attention is outward, you must put your inner attention inside. What ache was going on at the lower level without your seeing it?
     Understand yourself, your life on earth. What is happening to you inwardly while doing something outwardly? If you’d been alert, you could catch yourself being attacked, and your attention wasn’t on what you had been doing. You should be studying your thoughts, emotions so you see that “I’ve not been able to push away the hurt because I’ve never delved deep inside myself because I was too busy pretending I was having fun.”
     Notice how hostile we get when someone criticizes us. Why? Because someone has touched a deeply concealed falsehood inside of me – something I am hiding. Notice a combination of defensiveness and offensiveness. Know one thing – this defensiveness. See, there is so much going on inside of you that you haven’t wanted to face. The level of one’s touchiness reveals one’s level.
     The idea of becoming honest is a long study. Sheer self-deception, “I don’t know what the problem is.” You are. But it is easier to blame someone else. Notice the bad habit of “I don’t know what the problem is.” The truth is you don’t want to know. You don’t want to descend into the dark dungeon to see. You’re working too hard pretending all is well for you to see the problem.
     There will be screams, “I don’t want to see what’s going on in the dungeon!”
     The next explanation must be heard over and over. You have one enemy and that’s all. It’s evil itself. Study it. See it in yourself. It is sly, subtle. A lot more of me is fooled than I thought.
     Study evil in yourself but you must not identify with it or get pleasure out of being bad. I am neither good nor bad of myself. I don’t know who I am. Authentic and everlasting goodness is the absence of the habitual me.
     Discover who you are not. Whatever you see in yourself is not you. Dare to have no idea of who you are. Don’t tell yourself who you are and when you do you will be saved, and you will know who you are.

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     “I am so delighted with my new entire collection of the Vernon talks on MP3 CD. I have them on my iPhone and my iPad and I have access wherever I go. Vernon is the best friend I’ve ever had! Since I got this collection, my blood pressure has actually gone down. Thank you for making these available. It feels good to know that they are preserved in a manner that is more lasting than the tapes. I am so grateful. And even the cases are covered with works of art!”

— Lady from Minnesota via e-mail

Do Something New

     If you continue to live with suppressed angers, with concealed jealousies, if you continue to live with chaos inside your mind and in your feelings and in your life, if you continue to live with these hidden harms, then you will have to be an unhappy human being.
     There, I’ve told you. I’ve told you that if you continue to be the way you are, if you continue and make the past, the future in your life with chaos inside your mind and your feelings and in your life, if you continue to live with these hidden harms, then you’ll have to be an unhappy human being.
     There. Now I’ve told you. If you continue to be the way you are, if you continue to make the past the future in your life, then you also have to repeat the strain and the stress and the anxiety and the nervousness and the uncertainty and the pain.
     Now I’ve told you, right? Now I will ask you, what are you going to do with what I’ve told you?
     Now we come to the question: Which do you love more? Do you love the truth, the beautiful truth that you have just heard, the truth of deliverance that if you do face yourself, you can change everything and be free of your old nature? Do you love the truth that you just heard or do you love more the way you have always been and fear to leave it?
 
   There it is. And I, for now, leave that question with you for you to think about later on. You have been told there is another way you can free yourself. What do you love?
     You have to do something that is utterly new for you. And you have to utterly abandon thinking about the way out and trusting your memorized experiences. Think of something else. The man in the story called for rescue. You call for rescue from your own self, your own unworkable ways. When will you give up?
     I will tell you if you will give up, something else that is not you, that is not a part of the 30-40-50 years old inscriptions in your mind, something else will come to you.
 
    In the story the man had to cease to believe in what he believed in and he had to consider that hopeless. What you call hopeful is hopeless and always has been and you are afraid to face it. And that’s why you don’t get out. You will continue feeling, being trapped unless you try to understand what you are doing against yourself by consulting your own self-centered, your own self-love, endlessly and thinking it is going to change something. If it could have it would have. And it has changed nothing.

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